Would You Rather...Drown Or Catch Fire Lyrics

Dane Cook

Harmful If Swallowed

Lyrics to Would You Rather...Drown Or Catch Fire
Would You Rather...Drown Or Catch Fire Video:
No one wants to drown.

Drowning would be the worst,
cause everyone knows that feeling... that feeling that you get.

Ah, it's the worst when you think you're drowning, like during the summer...

You know, you're like, at a pool party or something...
\"I'm gonna go in the deep end, watch my dive, watch my dive!\"

Then you dive in, and the second you get to the bottom, you're like \"GET ME OUT OF HERE, WHERE'S THE SURFACE?!\"

And you always come up under the kid on the raft,

\"Your son almost killed me with his, uh, Daffy Duck raft over here, John! Your son tried to murder me in your pool.\"

\"Float away from me, float away!\"

has anybody ever been fully engulfed in fire?
Its gotta be so hot!

That is way too fuckin' hot.

It's the worst feeling when you burn yourself too,
even that little tiny.. you know, sometimes you're making some soup, some oodles of noodles or somthin', or you're cookin' up some crack,

And you touch the side of the pot, just... \"Ooo, OH! WHOA. That.. fucking kills!\"

That little thing,
you can't a shower for like, three weeks, you gotta like, hold your hand out 'cause the steam makes you angry...

You try to bring your hand in, \"Ooo, I hate steam! Whoever invented steam sucks!\"

You know what would be the worst?
This would be the ultimate worst right here...

What if you dove in the pool, and while you were at the bottom of the pool, freaking out, somebody poured oil on the surface and lit it on fire!

Yeah, then you're like, \"Oooh, ah, oh, ooh!\"

You're gonna just keep swimmin' around, feelin' for a spot where there's no fuckin' fire.

Then, what if you found a circle where there was no fire, but the second you came up, a big dude just punched you in the face?

Get back in the fiery water! You don't come out of the fiery water. Cover up that hole with some fire, now! GET BACK IN THE FIERY WATER!

(Thanks to Allison for these lyrics)
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