Very Mild Superpowers Lyrics

I grew thinking
I was just an ordinary kid
Just doing things
That ordinary kids did
But years passed me and I began to see
Certain strange abilities
I'm not a hero
But I'm not a freak
I just have...

Very mild superpowers
Very mild superpowers
Like sometimes when I'm cycling
With headphones on
I can predict exactly where I'll be
At the end of a song

Very mild superpowers
Frequently in kitchens where I've never been
I can sense the location
Of the cups and crockery
I'm talking about

Very mild superpowers
My legs aren't bionic
My eyes aren't x-rays
But I'm a very good judge of whether things will fit through doorways
(Sofas, tables in particular)

But for every mild superpower
There's a mild super-weakness too
I get nauseous round the smell of bins
I'm afraid of certain shop mannequins
I hate the cheese that's individually sliced and vacuum-wrapped in plastic
I can never tell when people are being sarcastic...

(Spoken)
"Oh Dave, I really like that new song"
"Do you?"
"No!"
"Oh..."
Maybe that's because you fear....

My very mild superpowers
Look within
I'm not a mutant
I'm just a man
A man, who happens to be frighteningly good
At getting broken pens
To work... again