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hey Dan,
you know there's two of us,
and there's two of those girls,
and the blonde one's looking at you,
with her big brown eyes and she says,
"I want a piece of that."

hey Charlie,
Won't you pour me another round,
so I can sit here and pretend
that I have something to offer
to the opposite sex,
it's a cruel, cruel world and I'm broke,
and I wanna drink to that
Just look at the way she looks tonight,
I bet she's never had a body like mine

hey girls,
how much does a polar bear weigh,
say, "I don't know."
"But it's enough to break the ice."
Won't you talk to me for awhile,
'cause i want a piece of that.

hey charlotte,
sorry i drunk dialed you again,
but while I got you on the phone,
won't you tell me what's wrong,
and we can work it out,
whenever he leaves i'm just lonely,
and i wanna drink to that
just think about the things we live for
it's funny how we can't even make a commitment anymore

hey charlie,
won't you tab me out
i think im going to bed
alone in my head,
and i was thinking,
i don't wanna live like that,
i'd rather die of a heart attack

hey jesus,
won't you save me from this life
that i pursued for happiness
and i'm just waiting by the phone
to hear a precious woman's voice
on the other end say "hey babe,
i want a piece of that."
and i was looking at the way we carry ourselves,
you know we all just look like a bunch of...
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