Turkish Prison Surprise Lyrics

Some people ask me why I choose to live this way,
How can I have fun without drugs anyway?
Why am I straight edge, do you really want to know?
Well open up your virgin ears, here's how the story goes-
I got drunk two years ago at a big frat party,
Covered in puke from head to toe, and I could barely see.
I went home with who I thought was the hottest girl around,
But when I came to I couldn't walk and my penis was all brown.
What happened that night?
I'm not really sure, but I know it wasn't right.
All I know is that I couldn't walk, blood was coming from my butt,
And I'm never gonna drink again; I don't want anymore boyfriends.
So as you can plainly see, the only thing
My life of drinking got for me was a random act of sodomy.
So the next time you want to make fun of me,
Just remember the risk of getting your ass reamed.
Well that's it, I've got nothing left to say,
But I'd rather be straight edge...than be gay.