The Lucy Joke Lyrics

So anyhow, uh yeah, Lucille Ball is dead, right?
Okay, yeah, everybody knows that here. Everybody'd know it.
She, uh, she's walking down the hallway, right? After the, you know, in the otherworld. And, uh, she's walking down the hallway. And, uh, big bright light at the end, and there's a guy. There's a guy at a desk. And, uh, uh, Lucy says "Where- where am I?"
The guy says, uh, "Lucy?" Ahem. "Lucy? You're in hell!"
And, uh, what did Lucy do?
Lucy went, uh, "WAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

(laughter, applause)

Okay, um.

Um, babe. Listen, babe. Lemme give you some advice on here, uh, while the music's still going. Try Spanish for me, babe. Uh, I know you're thinking this is all cool and all. You know this college, hip circuit stuff, but uh, I think that the folks down in Mexico- I think that we're gonna make a lot of money off of you, babe. I think- I think you're gonna hit pay dirt. I can feel it, I feel something, babe. Let's try it in Spanish, come on, in Spanish, babe. Gimme some Spanish.

Alright, Spanish it is. Okay, alright.

Lucy,

(random Spanglish)

..."WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

(more applause, laughter, Spanglish)
WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Ha ha. Hey sir. Sir? Do you have your head shoved up your culo? I'd like to know that.
(shut up hippie)
Ha ha. Do you like to hang around Greyhound bus stations by the men's room? I thought I saw you there when I was coming in. Ha ha. Yeah. Ohh- that was you? It was your girlfriend? Okay.