The Contract Lyrics

• a: good day, sir! how are you today?
• b: fine, thank you. erm, can i help you?
• a: no, i'm here to help you improve your life!
• b: what do you mean? my life doesn't need improvement.
• a: oh, that's what everybody believes these days. do you have a
something-something insurance for example?
• b: no, i don't believe so. what is it and why would i need it anyway?
• a: oh, thank the heavens that god has found another helpless sheep i
can lead to salvation.
• b: come again? what the hell are you talking about? get the fuck off my
property!
• a: oh, i wouldn't do that if i were you. that could have some serious
consequences.
• b: excuse me?
• a: let me explain. due to our long-running company history and
substantial success over the last couple of years, we have come to learn
that most people are too ignorant and simple minded to grasp how to
live their lives and identify what is important. that's why we're here
offering our something-something insurance to people like you.
• b: what have you just called me? how dare you step onto my property
and insult me on my doorstep?
• a: i'm not insulting you, sir. i'm just stating the ugly truth. you will know
what i mean soon enough.
• b: alright i've had enough. you are completely nuts. now grab your stuff
and leave before i call the cops. if there's one thing i hate, it's people of
your kind. you would suck out the blood of a helpless child.
• b: goddamit!
• a: please! sir, there's no need to be offensive. something-something
always lurks around the corner, and i'm here to prevent that. you can
trust me. i'm an expert. i've read through the contract and everything is
in your favour. besides, let me tell you. you do know what happens to
people who don't trust experts, don't you?
• b: not exactly. what might happen?
• a: well, something-something could happen to you.
• b: oh god, please, anyhing but that.
• b: how could i be so wrong? you are completely right. this is just what i
need. indeed, i will comply. thank you for giving me the opportunity.
could you hand me a pen and tell me where do i sign?
• a: sign here and here.
• b: ok, anything else?
• a: no, thank you. this is perfect. doing business with you has been my
pleasure. you will see me again in the future.

(Dank an Mike für den Text)