Ted Key Beefs Lyrics

I'm the fellow who goes into a restaurant
Sits down, and patiently waits while the waitresses finish their visiting before taking my order
I'm the fellow who goes into a department store
Stands quietly while the clerks chitchat

I'm the fellow who drives into a service station and never blows his horn
But lets the attendant take his time
You might say that I'm a good guy
But you know who else that I am?

I'm the fellow who never comes back
Yes, I'm the fellow who never comes back

It amuses me to see businesses spending so much money every year to get me back
When I was there in the first place
All they needed to do was give me some service
Extend a little courtesy
As if I was the most important person in the world to them
I was a customer

But now I'm the fellow who never comes back
Yes I'm the fellow who never comes back
I'm never goin' back
I'm never goin' back