Masturbation Lyrics

Masturbation...Strikes fear in the heart of people doesn't it?
We all do it yet nobody wants to talk about it.
Why a generation's so afraid to pass that down,That it feels good!
None wrong with it,we all do it,why can't we just admit it?
Then wouldn't be a problem anymore,would it?

Now if we aproached it like that,
parents could pass down the secret of what to do and what not to do to their children,
Coz kids are gonna do it anyway.
They did it when they were kids.
Why don't they remember that?
Then kids wouldn't have to feel guilty and do it under the covers
so their dead relatives can't watch them jerking off.
You ever had a headache?
Jerk off! It only takes it away.
Headache.Jerk off.No more headache.
You don't need aspirine.
Maybe instead of a launch break we take a masturbation break.
Everybody get along
You come back from your half hour launch feeling so damn good it wouldn't be finer.

Now..I don't think that god didn't want us to masturbate.
He wouldn't make it feel so good.You know?
A lot of people say, well god didn't come up with it.
Well...He's a man.And all men masturbate.
So I gotta really believe that the all-mighty supreme being was the first one to do.

People say, god didn't come up with masturbation.The devil did.
Now see i don't believe that.
Because the devil is what? The devil!
He's devilish.He does devilish shit.
Do you think he would let masturbation feel so good? No!
He might let the stimulation part feel good but then he have some kind of catch to it.You know?
Like alien blood,like acid's gonna shoot out,burn a hole on the floor.
So your parents while watching tv will know what you're doing up there.

And girls...The first time you're on the shower and the water hits that special spot...
Next thing you know you're humping towels on the bathroom floor,
while your sisters are outside the door going: "What are you doing? Hurry up in there!".

And the bible it says: "Don't spill the seed."
I think that was an afterthought from god.
Right after he created masturbation he realised how good it felt,
he had to put it some kind of parameter for human kind,
knowing that they're not gonna do what they're told.
I think orgasm is as close to god as you can get.
Because when you cum...You're creating.

Cause i think the devil would go all out.
I mean I think he'd go even more like fire's gonna shout out of your dick,
you gonna burn your room down.
Or bet he had here's the catch:
Your soul is gonna come out.
So you're gonna get to do it one time with the soul
and then for the rest of your life everytime you masturbate,
you're not gonna have a soul.
And you know what that means don't ya?
See you in hell.

So make it a point to masturbate more often.
Feel good about your life.
Nothing wrong with it.

(Don't spill the seed on your mom's carpet...She'll be pissed.)