Lizards Lyrics

Passing through the corridor I came upon an aging knight Who leaned against the wall in gnarly armor He was on his way to see the king Wilson Wilson Wilson He led me through the streets of Prussia talking As he tried to crush a bug that scurried underneath his boot heel He said there was a place where we should go So he lead me through the forest to the edge of a lagoon by which We wandered 'til we reached a bubbly spring The knight grew very quiet as we stood there Then he lifted up his visor and he turned to me and he began to sing chorus: He said I come from the land of darkness I said I come from the land of doom He said I come from the land of Gamehendge >From the land of the big baboon But I'm never never going back there And I couldn't if I tried 'Cause I come from the land of Lizards And the Lizards they have died And the Lizards they have died And the Lizards they have died And the Lizards they have died He told me that the Lizards were a race of people practically extinct >From doing things smart people don't do He said that he was once a Lizard too His name was Rutherford the Brave and he was on a quest to save His people from the fate that lay before them. Their clumsy end was perilously near The Lizards would be saved, he said, if they could be enlightened By the writings of the Helping Friendly Book In all of Prussia only one existed And Wilson had declared that any person who possessed it was a crook [chorus] The Helping Friendly Book, it seemed, possessed the ancient secrets Of eternal joy and never-ending splendor The trick was to surrender to the flow We walked along beneath the moon He lead us through the bush 'till soon We saw before our eyes a raging river He said that we could swim it if we tried And saying this the knight dove in forgetting that his suit of arms Would surely weigh him down and so he sunk And as his body disappeared before me I bowed my head in silence and remembered all thoughts that he had thunk But Rutherford and Forbin weren't alone. And suddenly an unexpected movement caught his eye. On the far side of the river he saw a shaggy creature standing in the weeds; who stared across at Forbin with an unrelenting gaze. A gigantic mass of muscles and claws. The hideous beast reared back and hurled himself in the water and swam toward the region where Rutherford lay. And in a flash, the beast was gone, underneath the surface to the frosty depths below while Forbin, bewildered, waited alone. The seconds dragged by in what seemed like hours till finally the colonel felt it all had been a dream. Defeated, he bowed his head then turned to go. Suddenly with a roar, the creature emerged before him and held the brave knight's body to the sky. And the creature laid the knight upon the shore. And the colonel fell beside his friend in prayer that he'd survive. And Rutherford, brave Rutherford was alive. Forbin and the unit monster were crouched over the soggy knight carefully removing his bulky helmet when the colonel heard a sound behind him. He turned around and came face to face with an enormous shaggy horse-like creature covered from head to tail with alternating blotches of brown and white. It was a two-toned multi-beast, and atop the multi-beast sat the most beautiful woman the colonel had ever seen. After fifty-two years of undaunted bachelorhood, the colonel felt a feeling rush over him as he had never felt before.