Little Christmas Song Lyrics

Here's my little Christmas song
It's new so I might play it wrong
But that's okay, it's not like I could say
Or sing one single thing

That's never been expressed before
Like "peace on earth" and "no more war"
That's easier to say than do
Just read the paper, watch the news

Don't read the paper, walk in nature
That's what we did last Thursday
When six or seven inches fall down from the sky
It's time to play

We slapped our boots on, grabbed the dog
We bought him in some catalog
That's what they send this time of year
How did they get our address here?

We took a stroll around the pond
Of Tricia I am very fond
Last summer she made me a blond
I looked a bit like Eminem

Our nieces' very favorite rapper
Swears a lot, that whippersnapper
Strikes some kind of chord it seems
For certain disaffected teens

Here's my little Christmas song
Might play it wrong, it's kinda newish
Don't expect too much when Christmas songs
Are sung by someone Jewish

Except for maybe Adam Sandler
Nightly lights Menorah candles
Merry Christmas, Hanukkah
Solstice, Ramadan, and Kwanzaa

I know I left some holidays out
So choose that to which you're devout
That's what the Dali Lama does
When asked what his religion was

Replies with just one single word
"Kindness" is what he prefers
And so do I, so now I ask
Is humankind up to the task?