Lance the Turtle Lyrics

And now it's time for Ukulele Karaoke with Bob. The part of the show when Bob comes out & sings a Ukulele Karaoke.

-Uh, what's going on?
-You're doing the Ukulele Karaoke, no?
-No, I'm on break. This is the Pirates'...
-They are busy with the rest of the show.
-B-But I don't know the song.
-You're lyrics, monsieur. Bring in the props!
-But-
-Wakiki!

-Your island breeze, monsieur!
-Hold on a sec! I'm totally unprepared to do a solo!
-Your back-up singers.
-Huh? Isn't that the-
-Oui, they are the Wiggly Turtle Tubies!
-The Wiggly Turtle Tubies? They look taller on TV.
-So do you, tomato!

-But really, this is Larry's gig! I can't just--
-The show must go on, monsieur! Quick, that is your que! Just follow the lyrics.
-But...

Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!

Well, I keep a little turtle at my Uncle & my Aunt's
My auntie's name is Myrtle, & my island turtle's name is Lance
He doesn't wander far, even if he gets the chance
He just plays his ukulele & he does the hula dance!
What?

Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!

He threw a luau barbecue one breezy summer night
Invited all his turtle friends to come & have a wiki bite
The turtles started walking there as Lance began to swing
The one who lived across the street arrived there in the Spring!
Oh, I get it! Turtles are slow, so it took him a long time. That's pretty good.

Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
But Lance just kept on cooking, he was grilling full of glee!
He was marinating ribs cause he liked-
"Syrup with his feta cheese?"
I-I'm sorry, I-

Lance's purple turtle shell has ketchup if you please
Pineapples are shiny!
Spotted tiki bumblebees?!
Oh, man!

Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!

Wait a minute, guys. I don't think this is right. It doesn't make any sense!
It works for us! Ha-ha!
But-
The song! The song!

There are luscious chocolate fingers, swimming slowly in the school
Mele Kalikimaka
Fluffy bunnies driving in the pool! Uh, Larry?!
Thousand igloos wax the beach, spray luggage in the trees!
Raining puppies, flying clowns
Flossing punahele-
Ow! Oh, forget it

Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!

This has been Ukulele Karaoke with Bob. Tune in next time to here Bob say,
"I'll be in my dressing room"