How to Make Friends and Influence People Lyrics

I remember those math tests, Colin K
They were a bitch, they were just such a bitch
And I thought I was gonna fail that class for sure, Colin K
But I knew what I could do!

I drew a picture of a dragon eating a integral
(Oh yeah)
And I drew the sigma sign cuz I was thinking of frat row!
(Oh no)

Little did I know that that was a math symbol
Little did I know that was a math symbol

And though I got twenty percent on that exam
And it was my final exam
I still passed
I still passed
Cuz I essed some dees

I know how to succeed, I know how to succeed
The only way to succeed in this life of greed is to Ess a Dee
(Don't be sloppy with it)
(Cup the balls a little)
(Don't be shy, don't be shy)

Now it's not gay if you do it right
(That's true)
It's not gay if you just put the tip in
(Don't touch the balls)
And if the ejaculate only goes in your hands, that's not gay either
(Fact fact fact fact)
And if you get herpes, you can just say you were making out with a team leader
Of a sorority
(That's a chick)
That is a chick!

The only way to succeed! (Ess those Dees!)

Now I've had a lot of business majors telling me
That with their degree they can do anything they need
Well let me tell you something about those English majors
They know how to Ess a Dee
That's how they'll succeed
Fucking right, they will succeed!

The only way to succeed! (Ess those Dees!)