Fuck Everything Lyrics

Jon Lajoie

Non-album songs

Lyrics to Fuck Everything
Fuck Everything Video:
Yo
Other rappers claim to not give a fuck
Well step aside bitches
Cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible
What?


(I don't give a fuck)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what?
(I don't give a fuck)
I literally don't give a fuck about anything


I don't give a fuck about motherfuckin' anything
People care about shit, I say, "Fuck everything"
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees
Fuck the sun, I don't heat or Vitamin D

And fuck toasters, I don't need to cook my bread
And fuck coasters, I use a little plate instead
And fuck roosters, with your useless cock-a-doodle-do,
we invented alarm clocks, we no longer need you

Don't give a fuck about chairs, I prefer to stand
And fuck air conditioners, I got a ceiling fan
And fuck the movie "The Fan" starring Wesley Snipes
"Demolition Man's" the only Snipes movie I like
And fuck liking shit, I don't even like the stuff that I like
Don't give a fuck about not liking all the shit I don't like

Like tissues, fuck them, I'll blow my nose on the couch
And fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth
Don't give a fuck about seeing, bitch, fuck my eyes
Fuck visual perception yo, I'd rather be blind
And fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke,
and hours are way too long, it should be half an hour at most

And fuck coasts, don't give a fuck about where water meets land
And fuck boats, just because you float you think you're so fuckin fab?
And fuck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time
My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, what?


(I don't give a fuck)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what?
(I don't give a fuck)
I literally don't give a fuck about anything


Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup
The girl said, "Small, medium or large?" I said "Bitch, I don't give a fuck!"
She said, "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size,"
I said, "Fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a fuck, alright?"

Don't give a fuck about beverage size options, motherfucka
And I don't give a fuck about liquids either
They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place
Like human semen when I get it all over my face
I'm not gay, I just don't give a fuck about straight sex
And fuck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead

Fuck biological functions, fuck the human body
I'd prefer the body of a bat and the head of a coyote
I'd call myself "Batyote" and I'd fight crime at night
I know it's similar to Batman, but motherfuck copyright
I plagarize all the time, I do it every day
'Cause I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way

And fuck birth, entering the world of space and time is a bitch
Searching for purpose in a random universe sucks dick
Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way?
Did I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays?
If I want ice I'll go to the fucking corner store and buy a bag
Filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherfucking drag

You know what? Fuck the word "fuck," I don't need to use it
I'll replace it with the word "chainsaw" for this chorus


(I don't give a chainsaw)
About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything, what?
(I don't give a chainsaw)
I literally don't give a chainsaw about anything


If there were a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most,
I wouldn't win, 'cause I don't give a fuck about winning, yo
I don't even give a fuck about not giving a fuck, so I do give a fuck
... Wait, what?


(I give a fuck)
About everything, I love everyone and care about everything, what?
(I give a fuck)
I literally care about every motherfucking thing
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