Expendable (Feat. Jason Charles Miller, Robert Picardo, & Tim Russ) Lyrics

Robert:

Ladies and gentlemen of the Geonosian Gladiator Area, presenting the epic battle of a Star Trek redshirt and a Star Wars Storm Trooper.



Voltaire:

Expendable.

I'm wearing red and I'm expendable.

You need me dead?

I am dependable.

You need me alive?

I'm not your guy.

'Cause on the surface, where Spock and Kirk is, it's almost certain that I'm gonna die!

Expendable am I.



Jason:

Terrible.

When it comes to shooting, I'm just terrible.

I shot at 210 rebels and didn't hit a single guy.

I couldn't hit the Death Star while on the Death Star.

I'd probably shoot my foot and then I'd cry!

A terrible shot am I.



Voltaire:

Back at the academy, no one was as bad as me, though I tried my very best.

Made my teachers all irate.

Puked from everything I ate.

Got an 'F' on every test.

Though excellin' was my wish, I broke the main deflector dish, and they threw me out of class.

Then they caught me raisin' heck naked on the holodeck.

I thought there's no way I can pass.

Then, just when I thought that I was screwed, they said...

Tim: "We've got the perfect job for you."

Voltaire: "You do?"



Tim:

"You'll be expendable.

You will wear red and be expendable.

For getting dead, you are dependable.

In fact, you are the perfect guy.

If shields are down or we blow a warp core, it's almost guaranteed you're gonna fry!

Expendable."

Voltaire: Am I?



Jason:

Back when I was just a teen, growing up on Tatooine, Beggar's Canyon was my scene.

But my aim was really bad.

Couldn't bull's eye a Womp Rat with my trusty T-16.

This made me a little stressed.

More than just a bit depressed.

Drowned my tears in Anchorhead.

There I met a man named Biggs.

Said he had the perfect gig to put me to the test.

And just when I thought that I was screwed, he said...

Robert: "I've got the perfect job for you."

Jason: "You do?"



Robert:

"You will be terrible.

When it comes to shooting, you're just terrible.

You'll shoot at 210 Gungans and not a single one will die.

We'll get the last laugh on Palpatine's ass by building him an army of guys so terrible."

Jason: Am I?



Voltaire: And that's how I became a redshirt.

Jason: And that's how I became a Trooper.

Voltaire: And though apart we are pathetic...

Voltaire & Jason: ...together we are super-duper.

Jason: I'll shoot at you at you from foot or two and yet, much to your surprise, I'll miss you.

Voltaire: Yet I'll still die.

Jason: I'll miss you!

Voltaire: Yet I'll still...

Voltaire, Jason, Robert, & Tim: ...find a way to die!