Designer Boyfriend Lyrics

I'll slap your back if you slap mine
We'll stand up straight and we won't get tired
We kiss like strangers, but fuck like flies
In my Book of Touch, that's three high-fives

Ain't too tender, ain't going head over heels

Be with me and smile bright
We'll be the only stars on the floor tonight
We both love shopping and contour lines
And agree Burt Morris should resign

I don't care who you screw
If you just be straight, I'll stay with you
Wouldn't it be great to live forever this way?

Designer boyfriend, you draw the lines in some strange ass places
Designed her boyfriend, set with the wrong typefaces

We slept in late just like we bloomed
We woke up tired, and I questioned you,
"You don't rest still, you toss and turn.
In your heart of hearts, what gender burns?"

Ain't it funny how we think lines are straight?
I peed that day after your shower
Boy, it sure did smell like flowers
On the steamed up mirror next to the clock,
I saw you had written, "I heart cock"

I guess that answers who you screw
If you just be straight, I'd stay with you
Wouldn't it be quaint to live forever this way?

Designer boyfriend, you draw the lines in some strange ass places
Designed her boyfriend, set with the wrong typefaces

(I found your stash of gay porn and
I thought to myself, "I'm so forlorned,
Rebecca, you should have listened when Granddaddy warned you
It's a land of fruit and nuts, this state of California.")

Bumped into you at the day spa
But I've found myself a better bra
A better guy to hold my breasts
So when I'm at work, he just rests

Ain't no longer finding my underwear gone

Pulled the wool from off my eyes
Understood why you like my boyish style
Caught the bus down at the corner
Got off by the way where the boys are hornier

I don't care if you're a disco star
I'm never going back to the Boy Bar
Your color composition might be best in the Mission
But I don't like the way your sex is positioned
Don't, don't, don't, no I don't

Designer boyfriend, you draw the lines in some strange ass places
Designed her boyfriend, set with the wrong typefaces

Put your prisma colors back in your pencil case