A Day In The Life Of Natalie Portman Lyrics

Chris Parnell: We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.

Natalie Portman: Hello.

Parnell: So, Natalie, what's the day in life of Natalie Portman like?

Portman: Do you really want to know?

Parnell: Please, tell us.



I don't sleep mother f***er

off that yak and that bourbon

doin' 120 gettin high while I'm swervin



Seth Meyers: D**n natalie you a crazy chick



Yo shut the f*** up and suck my d**k

I'm bustin dudes mouths like gushers mother f***er

roll up on NBC and smack the s**t out Jeff Zucker



Guys: What you want Natalie

Portman: to drink and fight!

Guys: what you need Natalie

Guys: to f*** all night!



Don't test me when i'm crazy off that airplane glue

put my foot down your throat

till you s**t in my shoe

leave you screaming

pay for my dry cleaning

f*** you man

It's my name that he's screamin'



Parnell: I'm sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?

Portman: I never said I was a role model.

Parnell: What about the kids who look up to you? Do you have a message for them?



All the kids lookin up to me can suck my d**k

It's portman mother f***er

drink till i'm sick

slit your throat

and poor nitrous down the hole

watch you laugh and cry

while I laugh you die

and all the Jews

you know I'm talkin to you



Guys: we love you natalie



I wanna f*** you too!

P is for portman

P is for p***y

i'll kill your f**in dog for fun so don't push me



Parnell: Well, Natalie I'm surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.

Portman: Well there's a lot you may not know about me.

Parnell: Really? Such as?



When I was in harvard

I smoked weed every day

I cheated every test

and snorted all the yay

I gotta def posse

and you gotta buncha dudes

I sit down on your face and take a s**t



Andy Samberg: Natalie you are a bad @$$ b***h (h**l yah)

and I always pay for your dry cleanin

when my s**t gets in your shoe

as for the drug use

well I can vouch for that

my d**k is scared of you

girl



Parnell: Okie-doke. Natalie, one final question,

if you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it--



(Portman breaks chair over Parnell's head)

Portman: No more questions



What!