8th Grade Badass Mustache Lyrics

This guy who's in my school
says I think and look and act funny
so he beats me up everyday
and steals all my lunch money
he isn't hard to spot
he's six feet tall and burly
he's got a deeper voice than dad
he hit pubescence early
all those who don't beat me up
make fun, and laugh at me
its because I'm so weak
so weak, I flunked P.E.
I gotta change myself
and make all the other kids aware
that I can be a tough-guy too,
if I grow facial hair.
It sure took quite a while
but my image just got better
I've got me an 8th grade bitch
she's the one in the tight sweater.
My mustache says it all,
it says "rough, tough, rugged guy"
even though I still wet my bed
and when I'm scared, I cry.