The Assumption Song Lyrics

There was an old farmer who lived on a rock,
He sat in the meadow just shaking his

Fist at some boys who were down by the crick,
Their feet in the water, their hands on their

Marbles and play things and at a half passed four,
There came a young lady she looked like a

Pretty, young creature,
She sat on the grass, she pulled up her dress
And she showed them her

Ruffles, and laces and white fluffy duck,
She said she was learning a new way to

Bring up her children, so they would not spit,
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling

Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt,
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her

Eyes at the fellow, down by the dock,
He looked like a man with a sizable

Home in the country, with a big fence out front,
If he asked her politely, she'd show him her

Little pet dog, who was subject to fits,
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her

Small tender hands with a movement so quick,
And then she'd bend over and suck on his

Candy so tasty made of butterscotch,
And then he'd spread whip cream all over her

Cookies that she had left out on her shelf,
If you think this is dirty
You can go fuck yourself!