Stained Underwear Lyrics

I've been sitting here for days
Didn't bother to get up
If I had to take a shit
I would just take it in a cup
And when I ran out of cups
I'd let it build up in my pants
And no matter how awful it was, I'd still have time for romance
With my hands
Cuz my underwear is stained
And I've got just half a brain
And if you didn't have a restraining order on me
I wouldn't be insane

But I think of you
When I take a shit
And I think of you
When I'm whacking off
So you can easily assume
When I'm lying in my room
Not cleaning up my stool
I'm think of you

I'd like to walk you home
But I would feel too strange
I'd be up and moving around
And that's just not the way
That I wanna see myself
As a modern extrovert
No matter how much I went out, I would feel the hurt
Of the dirt
Cuz my underwear is stained
And I've got just half a brain
And if you didn't have a grudge against me
I wouldn't be insane

But I think of you
When I'm sitting alone
And I think of you
When I'm ready to bone...

My pillow
Oh, where could you be?
Tell me you're at home thinking of me
While you're banging the cable guy
I hope you say my name
Cuz I would do the same
In fact, when the cable guy was here last week
I took off my pants and let him plow my seat
Then he had a smoke
And asked me for a light
My shit caught on fire
And he expired
And I was homeless for a night

And I still think of you
While I sit here in my feces
And I still think of you
As I finger all the inners
Of my asshole
Dammit, I hope you think of me too