I'll remember forever,
When I was but three,
Mama, who was clever,
Remarking to me;
If, son, when you're grown up,
You want ev'rything nice,
I've got your future sewn up
If you take this advice:
Be a clown, be a clown,
All the world loves a clown.
Act a fool, play the calf,
And you'll always have the last laugh.
Wear the cap and the bells
And you'll rate with all the great swells
If you become a doctor, folks'll face you with dread,
If you become a dentist, they'll be glad when you're dead,
You'll get a bigger hand if you can stand on your head,
Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
Be a clown, be a clown,
All the world loves a clown.
Be a crazy buffoon
And the demoiselles'll all swoon.
Dress in huge, baggy pants
And you'll ride the road to romance.
A butcher or a baker, ladies never embrace,
A barber for a beau would be a social disgrace,
They all'll come to call if you can fall on your face,
Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
Be a clown, be a clown,
All the world loves a clown.
Show 'em tricks, tell 'em jokes
And you'll only stop with top folks.
Be a crack jackanapes
And they'll imitate you like apes.
Why be a great composer with your rent in arrears,
Why be a major poet and you'll owe it for years?
When crowds'll pay to giggle if you wiggle your ears?
Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
Be a clown, be a clown,
All the world loves a clown.
If you just make 'em roar
Watch your mountebank account soar.
Wear a painted mustache
And you're sure to make a big splash.
A college education I should never propose,
A bachelor's degree won't even keep you in clo'es,
But millions you will win if you can spin on your nose.
Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
Be a clown, be a clown,
All the world loves a clown.
Be a poor silly ass
And you'll always travel first-class,
Give 'em quips, give 'em fun,
And they'll pay to say you're A-1.
If you become a farmer, you've the weather to buck,
If you become a gambler, you'll be stuck with your luck,
But jack you'll never lack if you can quack like a duck
(Quack, quack, quack, quack)
Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
