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Soundtrack: I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change Title: Prologue/cantata For A First Date Woman 1 And the Lord God said, "Let there be light." And there was light. Man 1 And the Lord God said, "Let there be man and woman." Woman 2 And there was man and woman Man 2 That night man asked woman if she was busy Woman 2 And woman said, "Thank you, she'd have to check. Woman 1 But she's interested in anything long term, she still wants to see other people. Women 1/2 He he he he he he he he he he he he Man 2 And man said, "There are no other people" Man 1/2 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Woman 1 And woman said ok how about this, We get married, you vow you're eternal love for me, I expell a bunch of miniature humans Who are totally depended on us for 18 years. Woman 2 You get a job, you stay home weekends, And you never see another women naked for the rest of your life. Man 2 And man said Man 1/2 Ah ah ah ah ah Women 1 And then thousands Man 1 And thousands Women 2 And thousands Man 2 And thousands of years past Women 1 And as for man and women... Man 1 First date, new romance, clean shirt, pressed pants, Aftershave, deoderent, electric razor, veloments. Man 2 Mouthwash, toothpaste, bring the condoms just in case, Macho boy, slick the hair, modern man, debonair. Man 1 I will splash on must. Man 2 I will knot my tie. Man 1/2 And before I go I will check my fly. It is women who have turned me into this. A quaff up and dry cleanded guy. Women 1 Facial creme from a spa, lingerie, wonder bra, Hairspray, hairspritz, wax the legs, shave the pits. Women 2 Appitite, coy and pert, don't eat much, No dessert, sweet and low, half and half, smile a lot, fake a laugh. Women 1 I have primed and plucked Women 2 I have rubbed on nair. Women 1/2 I have spent two hours on my face and hair. And I did all this for a guy I barely know, and I bet he won't even care. Man 1 I'll behave real well. Show her just the good stuff only. Man 2 I could weave a spell, if I lie about somethings. Woman 1 I hope he's mature, unlike every guy I've dated. Woman 2 Still I will endure, someone somewhere dreams of me. Man 1 But I got baggage, emotioal baggage, a plane load of baggage, That causes much saggage, everybody. All We've got baggage, emotional draggage, And we've been logging around this baggage a long long time. All (spoken) Time!?! Shit!!!!!!!! All Will my hopes be met? Will my fear dispell? Will I captivate? Or will I repel? Will I show him/her just how wonderful I am? Or will I be a date from hell? All First date, new romance, different partner, same dance, Ready now, almost time, here we go, door bell chime. All at same time: Men: Women: (faster) I'll behave real well Facial creme from a spa Show her just the lingere wonder bra good stuff only I hairspray hairspritz could weave a spell wax the legs shave the If I lied about some pits. Appatite coy and things. pert, don't eat much no dessert, sweet and low half and half smile a lot fake a laugh All Here I go once more, fishing for another lover, One more waiting door, one more very long long shot. Man 1 Will this be a waste? Woman 1 Or will I strike gold? Man 2 Will my life be chase? Woman 2 God, I'm getting old. (door bell rings) All (spoken) HI. Back to the I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change Soundtrack |