Soapy Tit Wank Lyrics

Watching TV the other day
I happened to turn on 'Home and Away'
I hadn't seen it for ages but what can I say?
I noticed some birds whose jugs were OK
Then 'Neighbours' came on and the sight of Nina
Made me feel all funny in my weiner
And by the time I saw Izzy and Steph
It was too late - I had lost my mess

Oh, why do I always raise my hopes
About shagging birds off the TV soaps?
Why do I get a bonk on
Whenever 'Neighbours' comes on?

'Corrie' came on the other night
Maria and Candice made me feel alright
I don't think Candice has much in way of a chin
But I wouldn't say no to a look at her quim
'Eastenders' came on and Zoe and Kelly
Made me want to get my fingers smelly
I was so aroused by the time I saw Dot
I pictured myself with my cock in her bot

Oh, why do I always raise my hopes
About shagging birds off the TV soaps?
Why do I get a lob on
When 'Eastenders' comes on?

Why do I always raise my hopes
About shagging birds off the TV soaps?
Why do I have to beat my meat
When I see the girls from 'Coronation Street'?