Raging Whore Moans Lyrics

If I wasn't such a lazy bast
I'd take a time machine into the past
And while my dad was giving my mom the ham
I'd run into the bed with a battering ram
And say

Dad, don't give me life
You won't be proud of me
I'll grow up stupid and dumb
And hated by the family
I'll spend your cash
Eat your food
Destroy your life
And eventually lead you to suicide
So take your dick out of mom
Before you ruin your life

If I had the energy I had before I became dull
I'd use my lack of lethargy to time travel
Back to when I was being conceived
And tell my parents something they wouldn't believe
I'd say

Mom, don't let dad fuck you
I'm sure it feels good now
But soon you'll be in pain
And big as a sea cow
And I'll get on your nerves
And you'll beat me down
And get sent away to jail
So what's the point in having me?
You'll end up getting nailed
By some bitch and her pet shemale

But I don't have the strength
Or the willpower to tell me to go on
I guess it's called determination
Well, I have none
So I guess I'll just sit here
While my dad shoots
Himself in the other room
And I guess I'll just sit here
While my mom gets fucked
By a broom in the butt
But you know what, mom and dad
I guess my life ain't so bad