Nixon's the One Lyrics

Hello, good evening beautiful, won't you tell me what's your name?
They call me Richard Nixon and I'm the greatest in the game
I'm the biggest, baddest, jowliest, nosiest man you'll ever meet
Said, I got more power than Eisenhower and more lovin' than the Kennedys
So if the GOP ain't your cup of tea, baby that's okay
You pretend you're Marylin, and I'll be JFK

You and me and Checkers will lay down on the White House lawn
And I'll deflower your rose garden until the break of dawn
Said, I don't wanna hear you don't return my affections
Talk like that will make a man like me lose his election
Sometimes my situation room can get a little sticky
'Cause I keep my willy slick and I keep my dick tricky

Nixon is the one
California's favorite son
And girl I'll be your favorite too
Before this song is done
Said, I've got the brains I've got the power
And you know you've got the looks
And even if I steal your heart
Girl I'm not a crook

Do the Nixon
Throw your hands up in the air
Like tricky dick, son
Too powerful to care
Do the Nixon
You know I'll never stop
'Cause tricky dick will always be on top

I can see you're a little shy about jumpin' in to bed
Ask Kissinger, at first even Zhou Enlai played hard to get
But he gave in 'cause tricky dick just won't accept defeat
One way or another you'll wind up in my pink sheets

"She was a very pretty woman, a beautiful girl, I asked her for... a date."
"Did you take her upstairs?"
"She had an adventurous spirit, I did too. I always make the big play."
"That's what they like, they know I'm big"
"????, No way she does that"
"She knew that my interests were in that direction, uhh... she liked adventure, she liked the big ????"
"Tell'ya, first, you took off all your clothes, and then you'd get up, slap your ???? to warm up."
"Find those knockers, strike em' and ???? them."
"We never talked about what we had done."

Girl why won't you return my calls, can't get you off my mind
Got the secret service tailin' you and I bugged all your phone lines
If I get wind that you and ol' Agnew are gettin' friendly
I'll pop you in the head like you were Salvador Allende

So, don't you dare to turn me down that's only just the start
I'll send a couple cronies out and break right into your heart
And when we get it on I'll record the love we make
Said, you'll go down in history, unless I erase the tapes

Cause lovin' you ain't a crime, and just to taste your kiss
I'd even share a cell with that commie Alger Hiss
My love for you is scandalous, it won't ever abate
It will live forever, our sexual Watergate

Nixon is the one
California's favorite son
And girl I'll be your favorite too
Before this song is done
Said, I've got the brains I've got the power
And you know you've got the looks
And even if I steal your heart
Girl I'm not a crook

Do the Nixon
Throw your hands up in the air
Like tricky dick, son
Too powerful to care
Do the Nixon
You know I'll never stop
'Cause tricky dick will always be on top