Masturbation Saved My Life Lyrics

All my life I tried to be a boy - quite popular with girls I bought them flowers bought them sweeties - and gave them compliments But as I'm ugly I've got problems gettin' girls into my room When I watch them I touch them - they scream and run away So I decided t'have some pleasure lying lonely in my room I get my clothes off touch my penis and feel the gluey stuff When I'm lonely I'm used to masturbate a lot! Masturbation, hell masturbation saved my life! Now I'm 60 on retirement and my hand's still my best friend I'm still used to jack off twice a day to keep the pain away