Xylophone Song Lyrics

Everything sounds sad on a xylophone
I want to make it happy
I want to sing about happy things like love and lemontrees
But I don't know how to do it
So screw it

In my neighbourhood
Lives an orange cat
And every now and then a magpie jumps up from behind
Starts pecking at his tail
I think he's trying to make friends
But he's just very socially incompetent
And that's the way it goes
No-one understands
The wishes of a magpie
And now he just wants to die
(sobbing)

So he flies back to his nest
It's not a very nice nest, he can't even have that
He watches from above the cat get cuddly with another cat
And it's no fair

He tries to clean the place up
But ends up on the couch
And the pile of socks beneath is getting bigger every day
And he doesn't know how to stop it
Now he sits there eating microwaved left-overs from last wednesday watching Ricki Lake
And no-one in their right mind watches Ricki Lake
He sees the fat girl who gets picked on cause her dad has money while the other kids are poor
And he's ashamed when he cries

Everything's so sad on a xylophone
I want to make it happy
And I've tried to sing about stupid things like love and lemontrees
But I don't know how to do it
So screw it