Beige Curtains Lyrics

I'm sorry for that time I had an idea
I'm sorry for that time I told a joke
I didn't mean to step all over your ego
It's my fault that my heart broke

I'm glad I got to meet your brand new girlfriend
All I have to say is wow
I can't believe you met a match so perfect
You must feel like a big man now

Your new girlfriend's like a pair of beige curtains
Not good, not bad, just there
I couldn't pick her out of a lineup
She's as special as air

Your new girlfriend is linoleum tile
Not hot, not not, just gray
Your own silent, malleable furniture
I wish I was that way

I'm sorry for that time I had an opinion
I'm sorry for that time I had a goal
I don't want to detract from your powerful presence
By admitting that I have a soul

It must be nice to feel so smart and superior
It must be good to know that she won't leave
And she won't notice when you fuck other people
Or at least that's what she lets you believe

'Cause your new girlfriend's like a pair of beige curtains
Not good, not bad, just there
I couldn't pick her out of a lineup
She's as special as air

Your new girlfriend is linoleum tile
Not hot, not not, just gray
Your own giggly, undemanding seat filler
I wish I was that way

If I was like her maybe I would have
The ultimate prize that is you
Just dampen my essence and learn to want nothing
Then all my dreams could come true
And who needs me when I have you

Your new girlfriend is a pair of beige curtains
Not good, not bad, just there
I couldn't pick her out of a lineup
She's as special as air

Your new girlfriend is linoleum tile
Not hot, not not, just gray
Your own pointless, dumpy little blowup doll
I wish I was that way
I wish I was that way