Advice From Christmas Past Lyrics

Why are such a stupid asshole?
Would you really like to know?
Well, pay your fee, remove your clothes, and Yvette will show you how
You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey, be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird
Life can be perfect
People can be trusted
Someday, I wll fall in love; a nice quiet home of my very own
Free from all the pain
Happy and having fun all the time
It never happened, did it?