I'm Retarded Lyrics

Ok, I'm going to attempt to drown myself.
You can try this at home,
You can be just like me.

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jan Brady
I'm a M80, you Lil' like that Kim lady
I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer
Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer
You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from
You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album
Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open
I'm doin acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin dope then
My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic
I have a disease and they don't know what to call it
Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash
Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass
Bitch, I'm comin out swingin, so fast it'll make your eyes spin
You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson
The +Proof+ is in the puddin, just ask the Deshaun Holton
I'll slit your motherfuckin throat worse than Ron Goldman

Something's not right
I'm sorry,
I'm mentally retarded
Slim Shady
I think thats my name

This place is my house, I might as well erase my face wit white-out
Cuz y'all can't see me like Mase's eyebrows (where you at?)
Climped out of a nice house,
through the front window and heard this guy shout
"Hey that's my couch, bitch!"
Pull a nine out during a rhyme bout
While I'm rippin this shit, put a clip in it spit five rounds
And murder you hoes worse than a convertible flippin vertical
Nose first wit the top off landin upside-down
You're tied down and duct-taped, fuck rape
I'd rather just hump a slut's leg wit my nuts shaved
And Sway & Tech, two disk jokeys
Breakin so many friggin needles I wonder if they inject

Something's not right
I'm sorry,
I'm mentally retarded
Slim Shady
I think thats my name

I'm ice grillin you, starin you down with a gremlin grin
I'm Eminem, you're a fag in a women's gym
I'm Slim, the Shady is really a fake alias
to save me with in case I get chased by space aliens
A brainiac, with a cranium packed, full of more uranium
than a maniac Saudi Arabian
A highly combustible head, spazmatic
strapped to a Kraftmatic adjustable bed
Laid up in the hospital in critical condition
I flatlined; jumped up and ran from the mortician
High speed, IV full of thai weed
Lookin Chinese, with my knees stuck together like siamese
twins, joined at the groin like lesbians
Uhh, pins and needles, hypodermic needles and pins
I hope God forgives me for my sins -- it probably all depends
on if I keep on killin my girlfriends

Something's not right
I'm sorry,
I'm mentally retarded
Slim Shady
I think thats my name

Last night I O.D.'d on rush, mushrooms and dust
and got rushed to the hospital to get my system flushed
(Shucks!) I'm an alcoholic and that's all I can say
I call in to work, cause all I do is frolic and play
I swallow grenades, and take about a bottle a day
of Tylenol 3, and talk about how violent I'll be (RRARRRRH)
Give me eleven Excederin my head'll spin
Medicine'll get me revvin like a 747 jet engine
Scratched my balls til I shredded skin
"Doctor, check this rash, look how red it's been"
"It's probably AIDS!" Forget it then
I strike a still pose and hit you with some ill flows
that don't even make sense, like dykes usin dildos