If Jesus Had A Wife Lyrics

If Jesus had a wife
that would sure piss some people off
I'm not quite sure why
but then I was taught to scoff
Mary Magdelene was either a whore
or a nice little homemaker
who happened to marry the Son of God
and had him taken from her

If Jesus had a wife
he probably had some kids too
and wouldn't that throw a wrench in things
now what do we do?
can his daughter become a priest?
would they make an exception
and the whole papal celibacy thing
label a misconception

If Jesus had a wife
he might have had a jr.
a jr. Jesus would have big shoes to fill
but I don't mean to infer
that he would have been the black sheep
or veer in ways askew
only that it may have been temping
to drop a mame or two

If Jesus had a wife
that would be just fine with me
as long as she wasn't a nag
and didn't scream like a banshee
when he got called late at night
to perform a miracle with prayer
and then got grilled when he got home
about the other women there

That was a man nailed to that cross
he bled and cried in pain
but his disciples running things down here
they'd nail him up again
if he came back for a visit
and divulged a thing or two
that's not written in a hotel drawer
by the chosen few