I May Just Have To Murder James Blunt Lyrics

I've always been a peaceful man
Spread joy and harmony wherever I can
Wars of words the only ones I have ever fought
I'm just not used to having these violent thoughts

But I may just have to murder James Blunt
He's an evil I know I must confront
I'm well aware he was in the military
But dragon ninja training couldn't save his scrawny ass from me.
And there's no court would convict me of a crime
'Cause if I have to hear 'you're beautiful' one more bloody time
Into the fiery pits of hell he will descend
I know 'his life is brilliant', but I may just have to bring it to an end.

Because his songs have two notes, they just go up and down
'Cause they don't have a tune, it just sounds like they do
If he keeps changing the chords 'till everybody gets bored
It's a repetetive hook, the oldest trick in the book.

That's why I have to murder James Blunt
He might sound better with his head on back to front
Before he cuts another disc the git must hang
He's the only man alive who is his own rhyming slang.
For the sake of us all I must act
Then I'll get Katie Melua as well and I'll make it look like a suicide pact
If you think this is a joke,
It isn't.
Oh god somebody stop me, before I murder James Blunt.