Hank & Hymie Lyrics

Hank and Hymie, unemployed
Laid off in La Verkin
Stood in line to get the dole
Because they were not workin'

Hank was first up to the desk
The clerk began his query
"What was your last job?" he asked
"And why d'you look so weary?"

You'd look weary, too, my friend
And both your hands be hurtin
If elastic into women's drawers
You'd spent your life insertin'

The clerk began to check his list
Insertion of elastic
Two hundred bucks a week you'll get
Hank said, "That's fantastic"

Now Hymie's turn, he stepped right up
A mild case of jitters
When asked about his last employ
With pride said "Diesel Fitter"

Diesel fitter, here we go
It says four hundred dollars
Hymie blushed, his face aglow
But Hank began to holler

This isn't fair, for forty years
I stood right there beside him
So why should he get twice as much
For doing much what I did

The clerk said I thought you put rubber bands
Inside the undies
And he fit diesels all that time
How's that the same, I'm wondering?

Well, I'd insert those stretchy straps
Hard work, but I'm no quitter
Then I'd hand the shorts to Hymie, he'd say
"Dese'll fit her"