Defeatist Lyrics

I cried in your bed and I bled and I fled
And I wonder why does the sky seem like its bearing down on me
Why does the sky seem so heavy
Why does the sky seem like its bearing down on me?
Was I running away from you?
Or was I running away from me?

Next in line of all you've known a defeatist everyone
Repetition of the last or a precursor of the next
Can you find the girl in me through my insecurities?
Can you find me?
Is this how it needs to be self-fulfilling prophecy
Complete my tragic world
As caught as I can be
And the things you didn't say and what they sang to me
I thought I'd be okay

I fight for control and I hold a victory here
And every day that draws near
I win by less and less
And if I turn around this time
Then I walking away for good

If I could explain to you
Why I do these things I do
Apparent sabotage under the guise of truth
And I am so confused the way I'm feeling about you
I feel this about you
Would you climb down from your tower
I've erected just for you
I'll bang my head against your wall
And clean the blood when I'm through
Then I'm searching for the calm in the hurricane of you
Will you find me again too?

I'll rest my head against your armor again and again
And if my heart bleeds one more time
Will you let me in

So what secrets will you sing to the black cat in your hand
Her body trembling as she searches for a softer place to land
Will you kiss the spread of moisture as it flows beneath you hand
And remember the sweet longing where our trusting black cat ran

Will you talk to me from sleep can you lie to me from dreams
And I wonder where your heart lies when you're naked next to me
Feelings ripping through my chest whenever you get up to leave
I want you here with me

Can you look me in the eye when I bell the cat
You say we'll do the right thing what the hell is that
What am I supposed to do when you're pissing on the moon
And when I want you even more what can I do