Cheesecake Lyrics

Helen Johnson made a lovely piece of cheesecake
And the folks would come from miles around to sample her delights
Some swore it was the cracker crust and some the sour cream
But Helen Johnson kept her secret locked up tight

Late one night upon returning from her shopping a the market
Helen Johnson propped her groceries right there by the kitchen sink
Unloaded secret cheeses in a pile there by the window
And proceeded to sit down to have a drink

It was just then that her next door neighbor hit his outdoor porchlight
And through the kitchen window cast a beam across the cheeses
Helen Johnson dropped her lemonade, for there upon the fridge door
Was the spitting image silhouette of Jesus

"It's a sign, have mercy on my soul, a sign" cried Helen Johnson
"I've been waiting all my life for such a vision, such a sight"
And with her eyes transfixed upon that white and ghostly cooling unit
She began her lonely vigil late that night

She awoke there in the kitchen sometime early the next morning
Not remembering just quite what was all the bother
But there it was again, and now this time in broadest daylight
An authentic Sears and Roebuck Holy Father

Soon the party lines in Chapel Grove were buzzing with excitement
And all roads to Helen's driveway were backed up for several miles
Opinions flew like flocks of birds in every which direction
Some saw smudges, some saw smears, and some saw smiles

The Governor soon arrived there with the Mayor and someone else 'n
They began to theorize what they were thinkin'
The former said the silhouette looked more like Willy Nelson
But the latter two were leaning towards Abe Lincoln

"It's a sign, have mercy on my soul, a sign" cried Helen Johnson
But the minister of Chapel Grove dissented his defiance
"It's nothing personal Helen, but the coming of the Lord" he said
Won't be on someone's major home appliance."

Well, the brouhaha, the hubbub, the commotion and the rumpus
Took an awfully awfully long time to die down and go away
But Helen was inspired, she was cranking out those cheesecakes
'Cause she sold about two dozen that first day

And there every day thereafter, the demand was growing higher
Such that every home in Chapel Grove was helping with the chore
And soon the daily count was up to seven hundred sixty nine
So Helen opened up a cheesecake store

Of course everyone in Chapel Grove was giving free advice now
Telling Helen what she should or shouldn't do there on her own
And the need to advertise got Helen Johnson thinking twice now
So she called up Sam the Sign Man on the phone

"I need a sign, have mercy on my soul, a sign" cried Helen Johnson
"Can you make me up a sign that's made to order"
Sam reflected, he was clever, once he lived in New York City, said
"I think so, but the name it should be shorter."

Well, to make a lengthy story brief, she did what Sam suggested
And the net result would ultimately please here
For where others saw confusion Helen Johnson saw her Savior
Right there on the front door of her kitchen freezer

"It was a sign, have mercy on my soul, a sign" reflected Helen
Who became a wealthy person with her favorite recipe
For Helen Johnson had the common sense to put her faith in cheeses
And went on to change her name to
"Sarah Lee"