Baseball Playing Spiders Lyrics

He has eight eyes you have two

He sees things differently to you

You have two legs he has eight

He leaves the dug out and he's heading for the plate



He finds his place to face the mound

Then turns his hat the wrong way round

He's lining up his little bat

He keeps one eye out for the cat



Baseball playing spider

Baseball playing spider

Baseball playing spider

Baseball playing spider



The rumour is he took a bribe in 1992

Then ended on the winning team, that's not the thing to do

They beat him up and stole his wages

They broke his legs, it took them ages



Baseball playing spider

Baseball playing spider

Baseball playing spider

Baseball playing spider



He didn't want to go to war

The thought of dying made him sick

Said he was clinically afraid of killing Arabs

He was Iraq-nophobi-ic



(All the girls say hello, all the men say hello!)



(All the girls, this is your bit)

Baseball playing spiderÂ….

(that's lovely)

(a little bit louder)

Baseball playing spiderÂ…

(now harmonise!)

Baseball playing spiderÂ…

(too many legs)

(washed away!)

(washed away on a sea of beauty!)

(that's perfect, now shut up)



(All the men, this is your bit. Men's bit more complicated obviously. Who says we can't multitask? I can clean my teeth and urinate at the same time.

I don't always mean to. That was another Alpha course I was asked to leave)



Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all

Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all

(Perfect! Men so much superior to the women it's unbelievable!)

(So the women are gonna start and the men will start half way through, it's a metaphor for life)



Baseball playing spider

Baseball playing spiderÂ…. (too many legs)

Baseball playing spiderÂ…. (a little bit louder)

Baseball playing spiderÂ…. (Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all)

Baseball playing spiderÂ…. (Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all)

Baseball playing spiderÂ…. (Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all)



Just me now



Now the coach sits all alone

In the expensive mental home

Wondering why he ever played a spider in the first place



Baseball playing spider

Baseball playing spider

Baseball playing spiderÂ…. (Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all)

Baseball playing spiderÂ…. (Set 'em up, set 'em up)