Bagels or Beagles Lyrics

I have got some problems with perception.
I know I must refill my prescription.
My vision's not too clear.
And I cannot quite hear.

What on Earth are those things over there, now?
Is it sushi or a very small cow?
I'll get a bit less far.
Oh, I see what they are. (I think.)

Are they bagels or are they just beagles?
Are they parrots or just paralegals?
I'm such a feeble man
and I don't understand.

Wow, my mind, it really must be going.
I think that my age is clearly showing.
It doesn't bother me.
There's adventure wherever I don't see!

Yeah, I'd rather do some big exploring.
Wrinkle counting's gotten pretty boring.
My caretaker's a wreck.
But I am not dead yet!

Are they bagels or are they just beagles?
Are they bald or are they just bald eagles?
I'm such a feeble man
and I don't understand.
Are they eggs or are they just excited?
Am I out of my mind or am I just outside?
Should I have stayed indoors
Where there's no wild boars? (Just boredom.)

There was a time
when I thought I'd seen it all.
Now that I'm lost,
I am standing oh so tall.

I have got some problems with perception.
But I think I relish the reception.
I'm free of any woes.
It keeps me on my toes.

Are they bagels or are they just beagles?
Jason Vorhees or just Jason Segal?
I'm such a feeble man
and I don't understand.
Are they waffles or are they just awful?
Is it Bowser or is it just Fawful?
Senility's my bag.
I love my life of lag.