Army Lyrics

well, I thought about the army
Dad said, "Son, you're fucking high"
and I thought,
"yeah, there's a first for everything"
so, I took my old man's advice
3 sad semesters
it was only 15 grand
spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead
grew a moustache and a mullet
got a job at Chick-fil-A
citing
"artistic differences"
the band broke up in May
and in June reformed without me
and they got a different name
I nuked another grandma's apple pie
and hung my head in shame, no...

I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today

oh, I think I'll write a screenplay
oh, I think I'll take it to L.A.
oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday
(oh, shit!)

in this time of introspection
on the eve of my election
I say to my reflection,
"God, please spare me more rejection!"
'cause my peers they criticize me
and my ex-wives all despise me
try to put it all behind me
but my redneck past is nipping at my heels (ha ha ha)

I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I thought about the army