An Audience With You Lyrics

An Audience With YouYour footman barred me from the doorSaid I couldn't see you no moreWhat's with this bureaucracyWhen I filled the forms you left for meHe's a loyal man who waits for youWhere loyalty is such tabooSixteen keyholes in one straight lineI look through them from time to timeThe weather down your end looks fineBut the forecast's grim down mineI'm no gamble better understandI like to know the story planPeople say I got no senseBut I'm waiting for an audience with youAnd all the wrestlers you've employedAnd all the boys with whom you toyedYou tell me please don't get annoyedYou're behaving like some Helen of TroyI don't care for original sinIt's a stupid world we're living inYour paid assassin makes me waitHe eats with fingers off his plateHe says you've got a pressing dateWith r.i.ps and heads of stateI know that he won't let me inCos villains always have bad skinPeople say I got no senseBut I'm waiting for an audience with youA plastic surgeon's your best friendHe's got the means to any endHe's so efficient, you're so vainSo we won't see your face againHeaven knows how hard you triedHell was such a bumpy rideThe widow with the holy eyesGot a pistol strapped into her thighsSays you're as sweet as apple pieYou only get so bitchy cos you're shyBut that's a load of papal bullI put you on that pedestalPeople say I got no senseBut I'm waiting for an audience with youGive me the strength of HerculesHis fallen arches, water kneesAnd please please let me be like I oughtta beLost and lonely, hurt and happyWith a singer's vanityNow everything seems like a mythThe strength that I have performed withTwo thousand stairs and there's no liftGonna get to the top and there's no ifWhat's for me when I get thereIs it just wheelchairs and grey hairAnd never was one letter sentI told the truth but told it bentThat's the custom that's the lawBut don't ask me the reason forI'm just a boy in love with youI'm rejected by the things you doPeople say I got no senseBut I'm waiting for an audience with you