Am I Scottish Or Am I Cool? Lyrics

hello everybodymy name is Dan
i own a purple caravan
i does Dj stuff on the floor
where i sees the koala dance through the door
my music's cool and so am i
am i still alive? i don't know why
i don't really deserve to live
any more than Jonathan Klive
make no mistake i hate you all
my lack of a life is my downfall
i have no food i have no friends
i have no CD's of Pestilence
all i have is my dance music
a caravan and a wooden stick
i often question the point of me
but that's my fault for being an MC
some Gothic people think i'm a twat
just because i don't like Cocobat
but when their life comes to an end
who will be there to like them then?
probably me if i know myself
after all, i know no-one else
the last time i went outside
i was accidentally deep fried
the electricity short-circuited me
and i died