A Nice Place To Visit... Lyrics

i take a look around
think of places i have been
there really aren't that many
i would like to see again
i've been to 30
8 of 50 states
most of them i'd shut down
3 or 4 of them are great
back on the east coast
dc's a little shit hole
you'll freeze to death in jersey
but florida's the best
i think i would rather have
prostate cancer
than visit oklahomo
it's those sooners i detest
when i see the coast
i'm at home at last
take the lincoln monument
and cram it up your ass
jmfc a giant ball of yarn
dont forget to see the thing
when your on your way to yuma
koa is a ok
but they ain't got no shoney's
i love turquoise
and shells of abalone
testicular tumors
sound so much nicer
than seeing dollywood
in the hills of tennsessee
sentence me to life
in a tijuana prison
i don't really care
feed doritos to the bears
fireworks here and there
california is for me
mississi (fart) i
zillions of mosquitoes are
gnawing on my thigh
i really love antiquing
i bought some decoy ducks
in some states your sister
is the only one you fuck
the nascar whores of north carolina
with ovarian cysts
the size of missouri
do yourself a favor and
stay in california
goodbye.