A Dick Like Mine Lyrics

Well, I bellied up to this bitch at the bar
Hey baby, can I push in your stool?
Didn't I see you in Beaver Hunt
With your legs in the air just-a spreadin'' your cunt

With your legs in the air just-a spreadin'' your cunt
With your legs in the air just-a spreadin'' your cunt

I'm a handsome sort of guy
With a good complexion and a stiff erection
Maybe me and you could get together
and... you know... heh, heh, heh

I'm the type of guy to make things happen
A little bit crazy, yeah, I might be
But I've got a few kinky ideas
Let's see, how can I put it lightly

Hmmm... Aaaa... Well... Here goes-

I wanna spend some time in your behind
Poke and stroke 'til I shoot my slime
I've got me a mind to make some mookie
Stick my thick dick where you squirt your dookie

Run my tongue up and down your crack
Bite your ass and give it a smack
Sink my sub into your scrub (a scrub is a small bush)
Eat the little bubbles when you fart in the tub

I'll tell you something, pretty baby
You sure are lookin' fine
And I can tell by the way you cross your legs
You ain't never had a dick like mine

Now I think you're startin' to catch my drift
Am I making myself clear?
Out of all these babes you're my favorite pick
A lovesick chick who can suck good dick

A lovesick chick who can suck good dick
A lovesick chick who can suck good dick

I'm a horny sort of guy
With a nose for sluts and a taste for butts
Allow me to elaborate... one . more . time...

I'm the type of guy to lick your thigh
Eat me a box lunch down at the Y
Use me some Crisco to grease my pole
Slide it deep inside of your hole

Suck your titty, lick your clitty
Even use my tongue where it tastes kind of shitty
Scale you like a bass, feel up your grasss
Stick my face in your ass when you pass gas

I'll tell you something, pretty baby
You sure are lookin' fine
And I can tell by the way you cross your legs
You ain't never had a dick like mine

I want me a gal who can cuss like a trucker
Moan and groan and scream when I fuck her
Use her mouth like a turkey baster
That's right mama, moisten my meat

I'd like to pay you a conjugal visit, baby
So quit playin' hard to get
I'll be shovin' my lovin' into your oven
Until that fur gets soakin' wet

Listen up, you stuck-up bitch
I'll tell you one more time
You may have fucked every guy in town
But you ain't never had a dick like mine

Now somethin' tells me you ain't game
You haven't even bothered to tell me your name
Or introduce me to your friend
She's got a real cute face and a nice rear end

I'll show you chicks the time of your life
Hey, what are you planning to do with that knife?
Holy motherfucking shit!
You chicks just done me like John Wayne Bobbitt

Listen here you sexist pig
We may be a couple of whores
But with this knife we took a slice
And now we got a dick like yours